Quieting the Monkeys

Have you ever seen the cartoon that shows a woman's mind vs. a man's? The one where the guy sits in front of the computer, just plodding away, just one tab open. On the other hand, the woman has a gazillion (former math teacher here) tabs open and seems to be actively engaged with each one. That's me. That's my mind.

Another way  of saying it, I've got a lot of mind monkeys, most of them doing some really odd things.

So, I've been looking for ways to close some of the tabs, to oust some of those darn monkeys.

Photography is one; slow stitching is another.

There's just something about it that calms me; the rhythmic in and out of the needle, the putting together of odd pieces to make something brand new. The squares are tiny, just 4" X 4", so technically, it should be a fairly quick project. Technically.

Because, you see, some of the above mentioned monkeys begin to chatter. If I don't listen, they chatter louder.

My stitching is crooked and not evenly sized of spaced.

I answer with a resounding, "Yep." 

The idea is that it shouldn't matte; this isn't the time to worry about stellar stitching or an amazing end product. 

It's time to get lost in the process, to just be.

But those damn monkeys just get louder, and I've been known to tear out the stitches that I'm not supposed to worry about, let alone tear out. 

Sometimes I manage it, manage to leave in all the wonderful wonkiness.

I wish those times were more frequent.

Most of the time, I grab a fabric that appeals and just begin. 

I'm not supposed to worry about all the bits and pieces going together, but sometimes I do.

This morning I read/wrote about letting go of expectations in my morning pages. Obviously, my letting go is a real work in process, because I do fuss at times. These tiny squares can take several days if I'm having a really tough time letting go. 

But this last square, "Evidence," was planned. The two background, the blue and the off white with brown stripes, came from Phil's shirts that could no longer be worn to the office. They'd been washed at least one too many times. So, I salvaged what I could. 

I liked the idea of creating a stitch meditation recycling these cast offs.

The green, and the pinkish circle, came from a gellli printing class many years ago. 

The black bit and the word, evidence, are the only "new" bits. 

Evidence can be defined as "remains" and "remnants." Discovering that tiny bit buried in my stash seemed to be a perfect find. It fits.

It feels good to be back doing this again.

It does seem to corral some of the monkeys, to close down some of the open tabs.

I'm working on quiet.

I'm working on stillness.

I'm working on letting go.

Photo Heart Connection -January 2013

I've been wandering through January's photos for the past few hours, editing and attempting to choose my "Photo - Heart Connection." I bounced back, forth, and sideways among several of them, many of my choices focusing on catching glimpes of rare January light.

I kept coming back to this one, though, for many reasons.

I'm drawn to the timelessness of it...

...a father and son connection, much treasured

...two boys, one 28 and one 4, throwing sticks in the water

...a reminder that life is precious, and that while we may not have much in the eyes of the world, we're not lacking for wealth

...that many of our cherished moments having nothing to do with modern technology or the latest gadgets

...that you can find warmth on a cold January day

Thank you, Kat, for helping me to slow down and remember just how much life has given to me.

 

Simplicity

 

Last year at this time, I came across the idea of choosing a word for the year. I dithered between two words, abundance, and...well, I forget now, so, obviously the better choice won! But, at any rate, back and forth, I went, only to have a sign from the universe appear in. of all places, Pier 1. Meandering throught the clearance section, a beautifully framed piece of art appeared. The word, abundance, simply lettered caught my eye. I couldn't afford that piece of art, but it seemed to solve my  dilemna.

Abundance followed me throughout the year. Looking for it, I began to see what I had, rather than what I didn't, a good lesson to be learned.

This year's choice provided the same dithering. I couldn't seem to focus on one word, one thought, one idea. Perhaps "focus" itself needed to be the word, but it just didn't feel right. I narrowed it down to a few, and this year the universe sent its sign on-line. Looking for just the right calendar, I found it. Simplicity.

Simplicity: A clearness of expression; thinking in an uncomplicated manner; an understanding of what's important and what's not.  Details that don't have a major impact are omitted to keep things uncluttered.

Related words: honesty, straightforwardness, openness, inciveness.

Just an excellent word, I think.

I've only begun to taste the possibilities.

As I do, goals for myself and this new year will emerge.  I'll journal them, blog them, and most importantly, hopefully will keep them.

I've chosen my word.