Have you ever seen the cartoon that shows a woman's mind vs. a man's? The one where the guy sits in front of the computer, just plodding away, just one tab open. On the other hand, the woman has a gazillion (former math teacher here) tabs open and seems to be actively engaged with each one. That's me. That's my mind.
Another way of saying it, I've got a lot of mind monkeys, most of them doing some really odd things.
So, I've been looking for ways to close some of the tabs, to oust some of those darn monkeys.
Photography is one; slow stitching is another.
There's just something about it that calms me; the rhythmic in and out of the needle, the putting together of odd pieces to make something brand new. The squares are tiny, just 4" X 4", so technically, it should be a fairly quick project. Technically.
Because, you see, some of the above mentioned monkeys begin to chatter. If I don't listen, they chatter louder.
My stitching is crooked and not evenly sized of spaced.
I answer with a resounding, "Yep."
The idea is that it shouldn't matte; this isn't the time to worry about stellar stitching or an amazing end product.
It's time to get lost in the process, to just be.
But those damn monkeys just get louder, and I've been known to tear out the stitches that I'm not supposed to worry about, let alone tear out.
Sometimes I manage it, manage to leave in all the wonderful wonkiness.
I wish those times were more frequent.
Most of the time, I grab a fabric that appeals and just begin.
I'm not supposed to worry about all the bits and pieces going together, but sometimes I do.
This morning I read/wrote about letting go of expectations in my morning pages. Obviously, my letting go is a real work in process, because I do fuss at times. These tiny squares can take several days if I'm having a really tough time letting go.
But this last square, "Evidence," was planned. The two background, the blue and the off white with brown stripes, came from Phil's shirts that could no longer be worn to the office. They'd been washed at least one too many times. So, I salvaged what I could.
I liked the idea of creating a stitch meditation recycling these cast offs.
The green, and the pinkish circle, came from a gellli printing class many years ago.
The black bit and the word, evidence, are the only "new" bits.
Evidence can be defined as "remains" and "remnants." Discovering that tiny bit buried in my stash seemed to be a perfect find. It fits.
It feels good to be back doing this again.
It does seem to corral some of the monkeys, to close down some of the open tabs.
I'm working on quiet.
I'm working on stillness.
I'm working on letting go.