The Light Givers
Hands Out of Your Pockets!

The Poor Thing's Confused

Cc cactus

My poor Annie's a bit confused. That's Annie in the photo above, and up until today, I hadn't named her. I'd been thinking about my mother right before I noticed that Annie was getting ready to burst into bloom, so Annie she became.

My class gave Annie to me last year, as part of my Christmas gift. Annie stubbornly refused to bloom last Christmas. She willfully chose not to bloom this Christmas either. And, yes, the "real" Annie was more than a bit stubborn as well.

No matter, I watered Annie when she seemed to need it, and I could tell she continued to grow, although not bloom.

A few days ago, I suspected that Annie was up to something. I "thought" I saw twinges of pink rather than green at her tips. Hhhmmmm.

I don't think Annie realizes not only that it's not Christmas, but that we're in the beginnings of Lent. Doesn't matter though, because Annie seems quite serious about strutting her stuff, right now and in the days to come.

Looking at her and smiling at her willfulness, I simply thought two things. The first - "Go for it, honey." The second - there must be a blog post in this.

Anais Nin's quote ran through my mind - "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

But, I wondered what else there might be, so I asked my good friend, Google, to help out a bit. And, I found this:

Cc cactus copy

I thought, "How utterly perfect."

Annie simply wasn't ready; I'll never know why she didn't think it was time to bloom. Like the real Annie, she'll keep her secrets, thank you.

I thought it was time; Annie didn't, and she wisely followed her heart. And, in the middle of winter's gray skies, ice, sleet, freezing rain, and a snowfest, Annie's ready just when I need her the most, again, much like her namesake.

Sometimes, we need to gently push others to make the jump, but I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, it's not so much the pushing or prodding that we need to do, but instead, continue to nourish.

I gave Annie what she needed, some light, some water, and most of all, some love. I didn't toss Annie or give her away, because she didn't fall into line with my plans. Every now and then, I'm sure I asked her, "Are you EVER going to do what you should be doing?" Annie never did answer.

There's more swirling in my head about this...light givers, time, patience, blooming. I'm going to give it all a bit of time, and then, I'll see where Annie takes me.


Glenda Hoagland

Paula, this is such a wonderful and poignant post. Thanks so much for sharing

Paula Bogdan

Thank you, Glenda. Im looking at Annie as I type this, and shes just blooming!

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