He Caused a Bit of a Ruckus

NU

 

Look at him.

He looks fairly innocent, doesn't he? After all, he's petting goats, feeding them even.

Buth then agan, that hat. Those glasses. Could be he's in disguise.

I'll let you decide.

It seems that in the recent past, he journeyed to the Pentagon recently on business. Since he no longer works there full time, he went through the visitors' center to obtain his badge.

And, as he walked through the metal detector, it began to issue obnoxious noises, the kinds of noises to alert the guards that they have a potential issue.

He smiled, laughed, and blissfully told the guards, "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot I had a knee replacement."

The guard nodded politely, and probably thought, "Yeah, right. Who on God's good earth "forgets" they have a knee replacent. Likely story."

Maintaining his professionlism, the guard merely asked the now suspect to step to the side, and to let him ascertain just what was what.

Being the agreeable soul he is, the suspect stepped to the side in what is a very busy, very public room.

The guard asked our suspect to remove his belt and assume the position, which is hands straight out to your side, legs spread. Another guard stood ready for whatever would be coming (or so he thought), rifle at the ready.

Cheerfully the suspect did so,forgetting one other important piece of information.

He has been losing weight.

Quite a bit of weight.

And, as he assumed position, in that very busy, very public room, with a steady stream of people who were trying to see what was up...

Well, what was up was not the suspect's pants. Those pants slid rapidly to is feet, and there he stood in that very public room in his underwear.

The suspect enjoys colorful underwear, although I could not vouch for what he wore that day.

Somehow, the guard "frisking" him never lost his professionalism, and with a straight face, managed to inform the suspect that he was allowed to pull up his pants. I imagine he was thinking, "Oh, please, pull them up. Now."

And the guard with the rifle at the ready, somehow also kept control and did not shoot the suspect.

And, after ascertaining that the alarms had been set off by the knee replacement, the suspect was awarded his badge and sent on his way.

I do believe he was probably the fodder for many a lunch/dinner conversation that day.

P.S. True story, honest to God! The suspect's wife, yours truely, nearly wet herself when she heard the story.

Comments

[John Greenwood]

You documented this breach of security with perfectly hilarity.