What My Mind Knows
Monochromatic Color

Figuring It All Out

Sept2011 005 
Wouldn't you think that by now I'd have figured it out? Life, that is...what I want out of it, what I want to do with the rest of it? How to get there? And, why do I keep doing the same dumb stuff over and over? Like that second brownie I happily devoured this morning, when I shouldn't have even had the first? (But, I do have to tell you that they were both delcious!) At any rate, if I want to lose weight, I should not have been eating that brownie (those brownies!).

I just finished listening to Lesley's podcast (Artist's Sucess), and my homework this week is to set some goals..some very specific measurable goals.

And, here's my problem. There is just so much that I want to do! Journaling. Photography. Writing. Drawing. Figuring out watercolors. Can I marry the photography with my journaling? Then there's fabric, espcially working to create my own designs. And, oh, yeah...paste paper. I love, love, love paste paper.

And, that list goes on and on.

So, what parts of it are really really important to me? And what parts are momentary distractions? Geez, but I wish I knew!

But, I do - at least some of them.

A camera feels like an extension of me. I am blissfully happy with one in my hand. I abosolutely know that this picture taking is part of what ever it is that I want from this life.

And, the journaling is a huge part of it as well...both the creating of my own journals and the filling of them.

I think that the fabric, stitching, and sketching are more "interests." I'm not so sure that I really need to be doing them or is it just that I wish I could do them better than I do? So, maybe they're the bright shiny objects that distract this magpie mind of mine!

I have some catching up to do with Lesley's class, but I'm already seeing some benefits. I am keeping a "Ta-Da" book, which has jump started my journaling re-entry. I'll be relistening to both podcasts and getting my rear in gear over these next few days. And, that's a good thing.

Oh, and well, while it doesn't negate those brownies, Phil and I took our second walk this week. It felt good. It needs to be longer and I need to be faster. But, we did it, and that's a start. It's 2 more walks than I've taken in a very long time!


Sherry Smyth

I enjoyed reading this Paula...it replicates what I am feeling in my own life, my heart and my mind. I especially relate to the brownie(s) comment and good for you and Phil continuing to walk. It will become faster...it's all one day at a time! xo


I can so relate to your post! Those brownies would have tempted me as well!
I too wonder the direction I want to take - and I will soon be 6 decades! (yikes!)
I have only recently turned to art - the past 2 years and it feels wonderful but I know I have so far to go. Thanks for such honesty and thoughtful refelections.

Kim Mailhot

Feeling the same way about brownie-ish foods and about finding focus. Lately, I have been stepping out of thinking I have to figure it all out, and just living the day. Going to bed at night and circling the "ta-das", however small they may be or however large, and giving myself compassion. Oh, and the permission to start over on a new day...
If you get any good answers, be sure to share them, okay, my friend ?
And in the mean time, get snapping !!!
Hugs !

The comments to this entry are closed.