Once upon a time, I thought that creative people just spewed forth ideas...effortlessly, magically, with little to no effort. After all, creativity was their gift, their talent. It just happened.
I know better now. I know that I have to show up, to do the work. Inspiration is not going to come knocking at my door. It will come when I'm knee deep in the process.
"But, I'm tired. I am just so very tired," I whine.
And, I am. Tired, that is. I've been putting in terribly long days, and I come home wiped. I have no ideas in me. None.
Or, so I think.
And, then, I go back to the quote. I go back to something said in a recent art workshop. I go back to everything I've read and heard these last few weeks.
Everyone has stories to tell.
Everyone has the same 24 hours.
You can do this, I tell myself. You can do this if you're serious.
So, I looked around at my temporary work space. Just a tiny room, with the ever present computer, intercom, and tiny desk. A few filing cabinets. Some office mailboxes.
There's not even a window; just a doorway to the lobby.
Art supplies? Just a few tucked into a tote bag.
Plenty of space in which to work? No, just a desk already overflowing with the business of the day.
Long stretches of time in which to create? Nope, not that either. Just precious seconds and minutes in between phone calls and buzzers.
I've got every excuse I need to whine about impossible conditions.
But, I want this. I want to write. I want to make art.
Most of all, I want to make this work, this business of being creative.
And, on a run back from the main building, I notice them. Tiny, glorious red leaves scattered everywhere, and on a whim, I grab a few, and I carry the magic inside.
I look at them, and I grin as I reach down into the tote bag, and search out the white Signo Unibal pen.
And, I begin to doodle, right on the leaves.
I doodle tiny, easy patterns, nothing complicated. I doodle as I take various calls. I doodle in front of middle schoolers who come to the office for this and for that. All of us grin at what's in progress.
I am in my own little heaven.
Doodling can be done in quick snatches of time. It needs almost no space. It definitely doesn't need a window to the outside. Instead, I've brought the outside in, and it was all very zen.
And, before I could drop my sorry rear end into bed and get far too comfortable, I sat down to type. It's not polished, this blog entry, and I suspect it will never get polished. Not this entry, anyway.
And, I love my leaves. I love that I created something today.
I love that I made myself sit down to write.
I wonder what tomorrow will bring.